This is a potent question. The Buddhist say contemplate death daily and never waste time. I do a journaling exercise with my students asking what if we have a short time to live how would we live each day and what would be different?
Recently while contemplating my life, i asked myself if i were going to die soon would i have any regrets? My answer was, i would regret that i didn’t write more. That i haven’t finished one of the two books i started years ago. So here i am; writing about that feeling inside, that underlying voice of discontent…
I feel the greatest goal in life, is having maximum amount of energy and utilizing the body to it’s fullest, highest capacity; as well as; taking optimum care of yourself in order to achieve this.
when i counsel clients that have unresolved issues from there past, i find that fatigue is one of the main physical symptoms.
it takes an enormous amount of energy to repress/ hold down or ignore that inner voice. the energy is takes to continually keep your hand out (so to speak) to make certain nothing ‘bad’ surfaces..This is the energy you would naturally have access too. This is your birth right in a sense. To feel fully alive and clear.
The periodic contemplation of looking deeply at what isn’t being addressed or attended too (usually oneself) is as necessary as changing the oil on your car every so many miles..
For me personally and looking at many close friends, the pattern is to find a partner or family member or friend who is really screwed up and don’t forget…doesn’t want to change! and put all of your time and energy on them so you will have no more ‘juice’ to work on yourself; your health, your energy, your life purpose….Yes i am guilty here too…And i will say…i do ‘wake up’ after a while of personal neglect and finally come back to my ass-draggin self and begin a new…
I start by writing this article. Thanks to one of my students who gently commented she liked my stuff yet there wasn’t much written lately….so the little voice of hers, triggers the loud inner voice of mine…..thank you..you know who….and i want to thank many of my loyal readers from the past, as stupid as it makes me sound; i had a friend teaching me all of this blogging stuff. Initially i was writing regularly then i couldn’t remember how to check on comments…so sorry for my ignorance..anyone wanting to comment directly feel free to write me @ email@example.com That i know how to check…
Ok back to this point…all this is, is another worthy tool…assess where you are at right now:
- do you have all the energy you need to perform your daily life?
- do you laugh spontaneously and often?
- are you as healthy as you choose to be?
- have you used ‘ruthless self honesty’ to ask is your character and actions something to be proud of currently?
- do you have free time just to breath and feel gratitude?
If any of these are answered with a “no” then..do the writing. buy a journal..give yourself the time you deserve and take responsibility for what your life is right now. And more so what it can be…
Recognize that as human’s we are all compassionate and nurturing yet when we are straying from our own path, how is it right in God’s eyes or our own to focus on another person’s life with the exclusion of our own? this is called a ‘mechanism’ another psychological pattern to not do your own growth and personal work..life is too short to waste it on someone who doesn’t want to change. look at all the worthy people that truly want to change and have no idea how. No resources or friends to help.
My advise is first’ look at yourself in the mirror ‘ as Micheal Jackson sang (i believe it’s his birthday today?) and if you are in balance and at peace, happy then take a moment and look around and see who can use your words of wisdom or a hug. I asked God, ” Is this person for me to help? and in what way am i to help?” and i wait for the answer or gut feeling and then i proceed.
As a healer all these years i learned the hard way that so many people need help, yet unless you are strong first, what good are you and also I have learned to ask God what spirit wished from me, not my own ego that may feel better about myself… You will learn to create healthy boundaries and will learn the difference if spirit directed or ego based.
Call a friend or family member you trust and ask them for honest feedback. Ask them what is or were your best qualities a time ago? see if you have drifted “off the mark”.
Did you know that is the exact translation of the word “sin”..it means “off the mark”…(just a side note of trivia)
Time to realign.Let’s do the WORK..Journal exercise #1………
Write if you had 5 years left to live what would you do differently?( or what would you not do? who would you not tolerate? what would you add to your life regularly?)
The next topic is if you had 3 months left what would you do in the time left?
An alternate exercise from one of my favorite meditation teachers; George Kinder. Journal exercise#2..
First write a paragraph on if money wasn’t a factor what would be your wish list? how would you want to live? where? etc? Dream Big!
Second..The doctor tells you , you have five years to live and in no way will your physical/mental capacity diminish just somewhere around the 5th year you won’t wake up. (and included in that there is no cure so no time is wasted with that issue). So the question is What do you want to do? where do you want to travel? write? learn a language? dance? paint?what do you have to do so you will not have regrets?
Third..Is doctor tells you , you have 24hours left. Who do you spend that with and how?
Enjoy the exercise..it’s guaranteed to bring a tear and a change of life…